i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
birth control should be required to get into college
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
