have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
