no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
