ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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