What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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