Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
