playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
