Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
