Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
