im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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