First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
