wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize