That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
