You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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