Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
