just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
