I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
