you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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