I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
two words...techno handjob
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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