Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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