she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
