HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
