As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
