the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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