Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
