Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize