Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
