She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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