my room smells like sperm. sweet.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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