I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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