I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
should my penis look like a turkey
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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