Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this hospital has no fireball
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
