Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
