she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
