Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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