lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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