yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
