one two three fourrrrnication!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
