People in love make me want to vomit
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
