is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
