I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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