We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
