Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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