Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
