Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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