Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize