She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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