He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
