your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
