any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
