dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
