I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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