you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
