pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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