**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
