That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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