That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
