i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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