HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
