I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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