if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
